mommychaos

It does hurt to be a nerd sometimes. I am already a head in my English studies and it feels as if there's been a fire lit in my chest because I have to wait for one of my Swedish books to arrive.

Life is changing right now but it also feels like I'm stuck on the same spot, so I'm trying to do something about that. I try to keep myself cool but it's not (Read: never) that easy for me. In short; life is what it always has been; extremely confusing and somewhat of a drag at the same time. It’s so weird that those two things seem to go together like peas and carrots.

Slow, slow, slow. Everything is moving so slow. I want time to move faster. Maybe if I did something with my time, maybe then it would move faster?!... But what to do though?

Sometimes I think that I will be a mother of one and that’s it. But then they come along; the amazing babies. Sure my little boy was an amazing baby who’s grown up to be an amazing little boy. But now he sleeps all through the night, he goes to the toilet by himself and I don’t have to freak out if I’m not in the same room as him 24/7.

But… after hanging out with my friend’s little son Hector and now my nephew I just know that I want to be a
mother of atleast two…maybe three, who knows. I just want a big family. I want my son to have siblings on this side too, ‘cause I know his father will get other children but the more the merrier, right?

In about an hour, me and my little man are off to my brother’s house to spend a day with him and my nephew. It feels nice to know that others are live and kicking this early in the morning too. We always have to wait for everyone to get up and get ready, so nothing usually happens until after lunch time, which feels like a waste of time when you get up at 7 a.m. So I’m going to finish my cup of coffee, try to shove a sandwich down my throat and then we’re off.

My little man loves Spiderman. The only character I’ve tried to avoid for a long time is suddenly his biggest hero. So I thought I’d have a little intervention.

Me: Look sweety, this is Harry Potter, he’s a wizard!!
Him: Can he fly?
Me: yes, with a broomstick he can.
(He rolls his eyes like a teenager and tries to walk away from the tv)
Me: He can do magic!!
Him: does he have spiderwebs in his arms??
Me: um… no… but he can do magic.
Him (while rolling his eyes again): Spiderman has webs in his arms and he flies between houses.

And then, while doing his best Ricky Lake-impression, he leaves me in front of the tv where I look at Harry Potter all by myself. Two days later he passes the tv while I’m watching it again and he says: he doesn’t look as good as spiderman. Black is boring!



Here Spiderman actually is black... I wonder how Leon would feel about that?!...

So what’s new? Well I start Swedish and English classes on Monday and then I’m finished with those subjects. That’s a shame really, ’cause I love both subjects but maybe I’ll just take more of them on university later?! Oh well, let’s think about that some other day.

What else is new?...  Well Spiderman has moved in and it doesn’t look like he’s planning on leaving either. This year we’ve had a robot, Pelle Svanslös (a Swedish cartooned cat) and now Spiderman as roommates. So life with my little kid is never boring. What disturbs me though is how I always end up being the bad guy and how he loves to punish me for doing things. He calls me ”bad crook” and ties me up with invisible rope and throws me in a dungeon (don’t ask me where he got that from) and let’s me sit there until ”bad crook has promised to be nice again and says she’s sorry for doing the bad crook-stuff she just did”.  Who am I to argue (especially since he never tells me what kind of bad crook stuff I’ve done)? So I just sit there, reading a magazine until Spiderman has decided to let me out of the dungeon again.

I can hear him coughing in bed right now. He fell asleep in my bed and in ten minutes I will go in there and carry him to his bed and put the covers over him. I remember how it felt when dad did that when I was a kid. I remember feeling how cold but still warm the covers in my bed were. Sweet.

Once again I’ve been keeping myself a bit too busy to find something to write about. I have so much to write about, been doing so many things but I just want to keep them for myself. Cuddling and kissing that man, talking to him and also trying to keep up with my little three year old Spiderman has made me too busy for my friends. I’ve been taking care of myself aswell. Trying to keep up with my thoughts, and you all know what a hazzle that can be for me. But I’ll be back soon. I warned you about this but as I said; I’ll be back soon and I hope you’ll be ready for me.



One half of a happy couple in the Bristol wind