Football and friends
Thank God for football! I could stop there and say no more, 'cause that sentence says it all. But in doing so I wouldn't be myself, since I always talk too much.
So, Barcelona - Manchester United. Champions League final 2009. Awesome? No. It was definitely worth watching just to see those cute little Barcelona players do wonders with the ball, but all in all it was a bad game. And of course, the player that I hate with a passion: Christiano Ronaldo acted up so many times that I don't even understand what he's doing on the field. He shouldn't be allowed on it before he goes to a therapist. I don't hit people, but seriously, if I saw him out (?) I would punch his sorry little Portuguese ass all the way back home to Madeira.
Being upset with a guy I will never meet and really don't have to think about made me think less of everything else. And of course I won some money on Messi's Goal and that Barcelona won. Thanks guys (for that and for looking so cute in your shorts)!
On a more serious note, the illness is getting worse. I'm in constant pain and it doesn't peak that often but when it does it's just too much. I'm still waiting for the results from the latest x-ray and if they don't call me tomorrow, I'll call them. I feel like a junkie when I take all my pills out and swallow them with my coffee in the morning. I can't leave the house without painkillers and even though losing weight is a good thing for me, I don't want to do it like this. I'm starting to look sick and I don't like to watch myself in the mirror anymore. ME? Come on! I love my reflection (chest and up, nothing under it, haha!). I'm tired and sick and all I really need is a hug. Sometimes I wish that a friend would just ring the doorbell (that is broken, but whatever, knock on the fucking door then!) come in and hug me until I let it all go. All the fear for what's going to happen and all the agony I carry with me 24/7. If I could choose, it would be him. His fingers stroking my cheeks saying: it will be ok. But hey, girls, come one, you're my friends too. Come over and hug me!!!
I know I've always got your shoulder. All of you. But I need so much more right now. Is that alright?
