mommychaos

I've thought a lot about that I'm not going to be a single parent (in the way I have been) anymore in some time. AN will start to take some of his responsibility soon and I really have to keep myself busy during that time that L is away. I'm single and have no one to do stuff with when he's gone. I have all of my friends but I wish I could have some one to talk to on another level when L is gone. ‘Cause all I think about when L is at his dads is: I wonder what they're doing now. I wonder if he remembers to do this, I wonder if he remembers to do that. What if L doesn't want to come home again?!   I know he does and I'm so happy that me and AN really solved everything, became friends and left all the bitterness behind us. And we're moving slow, as we should for Leon's sake, we don't have to stress this.

Without L home I feel lonely. It's empty and when I've picked up all of his toys and put them back into his room it's as if I live here all alone. No one wakes me up in the morning, not even a man and it makes me feel lonely and, yes, I feel a bit sorry for myself. Maybe I do need that personality makeover that I wrote about earlier. Or have I just met the wrong men? Or maybe I just miss him... Yeah, I miss him. Fuck I miss him!

Did you pick my mind Alicia before you wrote this album?

 

Eating Ice cream in the sun with CK and hanging out on her lawn playing games and talking surely made this Monday into a perfect one. The sun has been eating away at me all day though and my back is so red and hot that you could fry something on it.