Fight music
I don't cry about it. I made my mind up when I found out that I wouldn't cry about it. Still, when we started talking about it today, I couldn't stop myself. I always talk through the tears but stop before they fall from my eyes, onto my cheeks. So I clench my jaws to stop more tears from coming and I close my small fists really hard and I feel like punching someone. My hair stands up on the back of my neck and I get so angry that I'm thankful that I have a temper I can handle and that I don't have the physical strength to hurt anyone. Angry tears are better than sad ones. I can handle anger, not sadness.
I made a short remark to the girls today about the blog. I told them about that I was going to write something more fun and positive. It's just that all that is positive right now is my son and even though that the love for a child is the biggest thing you can own, I'm starting to feel empty. It's too much of a struggle and next week I have three doctors apointments. Three days out of five. Life sucks and I'm bitter. 2009 was really our year, right NB?!...
There's nothing threatening about a woman's fists. We use our minds instead. That's why breathing and rebooting is better.
