mommychaos

A couple of years ago I read the book The rainbow only has eight colours for the first time. It's a book written by the Swedish author Peter Pohl. Just like all of his books it's a tragic story about a small boy with a lot of depth. This boy thinks that every time he gets too happy about something, every time he lets someone in, something awful happens to them or at worst case scenario they die. So every time he loves he hurts the people he loves just by being happy. The worst part of it is that he's right; he's cursed. He's meant to be unhappy and unloved for the rest of his life. The last chapter of the book is so awful that I cried like someone I knew had died. Those tears you cry when you're totally helpless and you know that there is no way to change what just happened. No turning back, no taking it back.

It's one of my favourite books so I wanted to take the book out of the bookshelf today but I didn't. I can't stand reading about the difficulties of a small boy because I know his pain (fictional or not) is far worse than mine and right now I can't handle it. I can handle my friends pain, I can actually handle it better than I thought I would. Almost all of us are going through some kind of a personal hell right now so THANK GOD we've got each other!

I've been listening to this song a lot lately. Not because it reminds me of him because he never treated me badly at all, but because the song has got it right; I've only got me, myself and I in the end. I want him right there next to me, myself and I though.